She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
