cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
