Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
