yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Your penis caused this!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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