the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
