Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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