She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
