YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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