I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
