I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just want to make out with him forever
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
