Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
this will be a night to untag.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am naked and annoyed.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
