And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
