I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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