she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
