he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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