Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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