I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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