I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The power of my boobs compel you
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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