This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
