Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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