so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
