I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize