i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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