I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
