lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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