I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
