kristin has been a bad kristin
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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