Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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