Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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