question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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