I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
