u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I fill condoms, not promises.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have fence marks all over my body
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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