The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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