i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
