before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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