i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
