She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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