absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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