is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
