it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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