We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
