there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
