I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
