Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
