I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
