remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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