i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
