Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Randomize
