me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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