This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
