At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
