It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
