I'm really into asian looking animals
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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