I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
