Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
