Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
