I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Someone came in the potted fern
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
