I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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