This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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