Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
