google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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