i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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