Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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