Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
