I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
